Hello all my good boys and naughty girls and everyone in between,
I’ve been feathering my nest and beading my anus in an effort to make things lovely and comfortable and beautiful for your sensual pleasure and mine, which has made it difficult to conduct business as usual – you’d be surprised just how prudish and anti fun some of these tradey types are.
I have had to wear clothes SO OFTEN these last few weeks while my carpets have been getting torn out at the roots and my drapes have been dangled well above my ears and pots of goopy stickiness have been slathered with abandon in all of the tight spots.
By the end of the week, there will be winds aplenty to blow up my skirts and ruffle your hair, and the chandeliers I plan to dangle above us will be sparkling gently in the room where all the magic happens.
The floors are now squirt proof, and by next week there will be no more interruptions to the bonking schedule – please feel free to put your name down for a blissful hour or so of inspecting my bag of tricks and putting me through my paces.
For my old friends – I’ve dusted off the guitar and discovered that I still remember the basics, I’m back in the gym again doing weights sessions, trapeze and juggling are coming along nicely, and I have lined up a few willing victims to play stuntcock on onlyfans – if you’re a budding porn star, there may be opportunities for you, let me know during your booking if you want a guest role as a throbbing eggplant in an upcoming feature film 😉
Until next time,
Lani xx
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