Fine fine, have it your way. I’m sick of missing enquiries because I was out gallivanting around. If it says I’m available in Bennetts Green I will be lolling around at home in slutty gear from now on – we’ll do a little experiment and see if that helps turn enquiries into sweaty horny entanglements. […]
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I was given the extreme displeasure of a rotten cold over the last couple of weeks. I will keep the whinging to a dull roar, suffice to say I generally get man colds, so I’ve been fairly miserable. I missed my first two aerials classes of the year so I am pouting mightily, I don’t […]
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The land of untouched bananas
I have family in QLD, and a storage unit I still need to empty out, so it made the most sense to me to combine the trips up to see my family way out in country QLD with a little stopover in the bright lights of Brisbane or the Gold Coast to get laid & […]
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Buttplugs, Brats and Bitches
Buttplugs, Brats and Bitches? Or Balance, Breathwork and Beaches? Why not both? This spring has been a reawakening, I fell heels over head in lust with a very inadvisable idea, who tickled my fancies & played into my fantasies. Generally I avoid people who are too close to my fantasies like the absolute plague, as I […]
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Retro Lani Websites
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A Poem for my Suiters
Spring is sprung The grass has risen Cum and cover my ass With jism
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Loyalty Rewards Program
Hello hotties! Here’s a sneak peak into my Onlyfans, just in case that’s something you’d be into. I know watching me touch myself all over from a distance isn’t for everyone, and that a lot of you would prefer me to touch you all over from right up close instead, but some people like that […]
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Storms and Sprains
The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Mighty Mouse here had plans yesterday, to meet a rather tall and elegant man & eat a nice dinner & to get an outfit check from someone who has checked my outfits before in a mildly scathing way that led me to reassess my […]
Good morning fluffy little bunnies & other assorted woodland creatures. I am awake. It’s 7.43am. I’ve been awake for 5 hours or so, because apparently my life is accompanied by a laugh track & I’m a source of eternal amusement for some tricksy spirit or low level god, just going on the frequent occurrence of […]
Make love, not war, that’s my motto. Push daisies down rifle barrels. Let soldiers come home & see their poor neglected families and dogs. Feed the starving, house the homeless, cover the cold & neglected with your warmth, ESPECIALLY if other people keep telling you your compassion is misplaced & that you should be more […]