I was given the extreme displeasure of a rotten cold over the last couple of weeks. I will keep the whinging to a dull roar, suffice to say I generally get man colds, so I’ve been fairly miserable. I missed my first two aerials classes of the year so I am pouting mightily, I don’t miss aerials unless its unsafe for me to attend (apart from that one time I was dickmatised into skipping class, never again lol) – dangling midair when you’re flimsy and dizzy isn’t always advisable, if you can believe that.
I want to cautiously say that I’m good today, although to be fair I thought that yesterday and had to rethink very shortly after attempting to start my day. It lasted all of 20 minutes. I’ll do my best not to have another false start today. I am available for gently paced non-athletic performances today, if you’d like to get in touch. Pillow princessing is also available.
I have found a willing sacrifice for ongoing Onlyfans content making, he is located in Melbourne so that gives me a super fun excuse to plan trips to Victoria! We’ve made a little bit of content together so far, with some of it up on my Onlyfans profile already, and more to come!
In other news, I have more garden shenanigans planned! I want to switch from having a pain in the arse high maintenance thick damp lawn & regular overheads to keep the yard in a useable condition – which also means weekly interruptions to my peace and privacy – to having fat happy rabbits & cheerfully clucking chooks who keep the lawn down.
I did consider doing trade for trade to get the lawn mowed and I even had it lined up for last week, but the fella cancelled last minute and then tried to undercut my rates, which dried me out like the winds of the Sahara and made me reconsider relying on humans for anything ever.
Like I said, I was suffering a man flu so yeah maybe that was a bit of an over reaction. Having said that, some of my best and most fun plans are born of silly silly tantrums. So lock it in. Fuck lawn mowing services, or rather, don’t bother fucking them. We’re getting an easter themed menagerie to chew prettily on the grass and turn it into fertilised garden soil instead. Cuter and more reliable. Plus, free eggs.
I’ve already asked that pretty pretty man I’ve been fucking and filming to come over and put the flatpacks for the chook & bunny hutches together for me. I don’t know if he realises I’m not kidding about any of this, but he’ll either figure it out and show up in nothing but a toolbelt, or I’ll figure it out on my own lol.
Competition is heavily encouraged. There is always room on my team for passionate, creative, artistic and fun humans. Also hotties, as I am easily distracted by pretty things. If you would like to offer your services in helping me create a beautiful, secretive little edible forest of delights, hit me up! Trade for trade will be considered if our rates are comparable or if you’re providing materials of comparable value for the job.
Shag you soon sexy peoples
Lani xx
